Old flames say Tom is no flamer
Wedged between stories
about Merv Griffin's tombstone inscription ("I will not
be right back after this message") and an update on figure-skater
Dorothy Hamill's breast cancer, readers of the January 21 National
Enquirer were treated to a redux of Andrew Morton's Tom
Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography. Under the headline
"Ex-Galpals Spill His Love Secrets," Dawn learned that "despite
gay rumors" Tom Cruise was actually homophobic in high school!
Seems the film version of La Cage aux Folles "really
bothered him." (Not for the execrable script, but because of the
cross-dressing men, if Morton's source is to be believed.)
Now, Dawn's readers do
not have to be reminded of countless studies showing that nothing
makes a homophobe's pecker say howdy quite like watching videos of
guys doing the nasty with each other, but evidently the Enquirer
thinks homosexuality and homophobia to be polarities, rather than
flip sides of the same bent coin. Or maybe Dawn is not crediting the
tabloid enough: they do, after all, remind us that Tom first "dated"
Melissa Gilbert(!), then Heather Locklear(!!), and then... Cher!!!
One can only suppose Barbra never returned his calls.
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